Thursday, February 23, 2006

oil on canvas


In days now old you promised me love and truth, visions and prophecies. Conversations about joy and the absence of doubt, I remember well. With them, though, I ran ahead. I extracted what I needed and used what’s been patented as my own.

I apologize for dominating our conversations, and for thinking so often that love is an earthly object.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

la sauvage


Quixotic...Idealistic...Impractical...Romantic...Unrealistic...Dreamy
Tom Ford said that success is a matter of having both ignorance and the confidence to take on the task of undeveloped paths.

I despise arbitrary “rules” established under the guard of the experienced few. I’m living organically. Unplanned and impromptu. No manuals, no Google, no wide and beaten path. My instincts will be my instruction. The inner voice of persuasion will brief me on the rhythm and tempo of life. A rebellious spirit dwells in my soul because I live in the unseen realm of possibility more often than I believe my visible circumstances. I’m embracing the impeccable me despite my doubt and fears because, in reality, there is no single way navigate existence. My calling is to follow Him, not them.

Friday, February 17, 2006

the business of fashion


I’m cognizant of clothing, mine and those around me, 99% of my day. And not for trite reasons that may come to mind, like superiority or status. I’m consumed by fashion for its conversation, translation and interpretation. To me, fashion is art. The likes of Warhol. Picasso. Avedon. Hopper. It all started with forbidden fruit. Something Adam and Eve forced upon us. Fig leaves and animal skin. The only good thing that came out of that wretched day. Fashion is the only thing worth the pangs of child birth and separation from the Almighty. You may think I’m being dramatic, but have you ever sauntered into a room met by eyes fastened to you? Of course, your allure was magnetic, but I’m sure your attire had something to do with it.

I’m doing this for a living. Wait for the unfolding.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

happy love day


Love is more than a word.
Love is more than a song.
Love is more than riches and gold.
Love is a Man who died for His own.
I will say thank you, thank you, thank you for Your love.
No Greater Love. God is love.
No Greater Love. No fear in love.
No Greater Love. He died for His own.
Wash over me.
-Anonymous

Thursday, February 09, 2006

on the verge


I slept under a beige horse blanket I'd bought at the Salvation Army, which had the look, to me, of Hermes. I had no idea what I was going to do to get into the world of fashion, but I knew I'd figure out some way to do it. I had no money, and no means, no job, but I knew I had to do what was most important to me.

-Andre Leon Talley

Monday, February 06, 2006

resignation


Something New.
A lush, beautifully-filmed movie about wrong expectations.
It was as if I was watching my own life in her character.

There’s an immense difference between saying you wish you would meet someone and actually desiring to be married. Up until this point, I guess meeting someone was as far as it went. But recently, only recently, the reality of married life seems divine. And I’m so excited that I’m not approaching it as a naïve early twentysomething.

I think I know exactly what I want in a man. But I’m resigning myself, legitimately, to the fact that I have no earthly idea. In all honesty, because I like control, a certain image, and no surprises, I have been completely distrustful about who God has for me. I’ve more often than not thought that He has no idea what kind of person would compliment me. As if He’s too old-fashioned and too out dated to know. I repent.

I surrender again (for the trillionth time) my doubt, suspicion, underestimation and, most of all, my fear. I’m giving in.

Friday, February 03, 2006

concoction

Something is being concocted on my behalf.
A delicious, fragrant luxury.
I cannot describe it. I cannot explain it.
I do not know when. I do not know how.
But I am being molded for and quarantined until
the arrival of a new season.

I am the color blue.
I am in the depths, and alone.
Rebirth is a solitary experience.
Growth is painful.

The phone rings, the door opens. There the Lord stands with opportunities.

Enlarge the place of your tent,
stretch your tent curtains wide,
do not hold back;
lengthen your cords,
strengthen your stakes.
For you will spread out to the right and to the left;
your descendants will dispossess nations
and settle in their desolate cities. (Isaiah)

I am fasting and praying, looking for Your hand,
for within it my dreams reside and risk is a delight.


I may just buy an iPod to celebrate what's on the way.
A black Nano, please.