risk

The weekend I got married, one of my most beloved friends told me something quite divine and profound. On her way back from Africa, the Lord gave her a scripture for R and me: Genesis 12, the story of Abram and Sarai's command to leave their homeland.

This week I've been thinking so much about their story and using it as an overlay for the next chapter of our story. It is the call of Abram to an unnamed and unknown land; a call to be a blessing. It comes with a command and a promise: "Don't be afraid. I am your shield, your very great reward." As I reflected and let this story seep down within me, I started writing down words as they arrived in my mind: risk, grace, favor, adventure, calling, submission, obedience, vision without seeing.

For my life, it's the end of the reign of perfectionism. There's a new ruler in all my actions and affections - faith and grace. Faith and grace are the only ways I'll ever be pleasing to God, the one I so want to impress.

Then something else happens. Grace comes with the new covenant and a change in relationship (circumcision: being intimately marked as His own). Abram becomes Abraham, Sarai becomes Sarah. The Hebrew word for Sarai means to rule, govern or dominate. But when God changes her name to Sarah, she becomes submissive. Her submission sobers her and allows her to give birth at the age of almost 100 years old.

I'm undergoing the same kind of name change. I'm going from always controlled to submissive and obedient. I'm more relaxed than ever and allowing my Father and husband to lead me where I used to only want to go myself. I cannot do this alone or in my own strength and knowledge. I'm being led so that I might give birth - to my dreams and passions, as well as to those we're called to live beside and little ones who will one day carry on where we leave off.

And that is worth every bit of risk, because grace will always rescue the unworthy.