Monday, January 21, 2008

everlasting


High expectations for a new beginning are often met with incredible discouragement. That's the way it feels tonight. I feel like I'm on my way but the future doesn't exist. The worst thing to me is the static in not knowing what's ahead. Yet even in this moment another love emerges out of nothing - like the coin in the fish's mouth. I again feel important and worthy of attention. In light of Your love, You have blinded me to the future. I do not see the landscape or even the horizon. I see no small outline in the distance. My vision is completely impaired. The only thing I sense is the sound of everyone else rejoicing for the future they already own. I wonder if I'd be better off never tasting than to be in a place where I can't solidify its existance. The urge to run is so strong in me.

But my Father arrives to rescue me. He engulfs me with every trapping of love known to lovers. I am His number one priority, His object of affection and the receiver of His random and spontaneous gifts. He leaves me love letters and a trail of tokens that explain His everlasting devotion. His way of relaxing me is to make the future unclear. Its the only way a lover subdues His love and brings her under His control. He removes the distraction, and hides the promise so that she'll learn to love the Promiser.

The mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting.